It's been awhile since I last posted anything. One in part I don't think anyone's reading, and two I moved into a place that needs ALOT of work so I am trying to get it looking decent.

In about 6 mins my alarm is going to go off to tell me to go and work out. This has been the plan since I moved was I'd start an exercise regime everyday in the morning. I have little to no ambition to start this today. I want to get in shape and I want to start working out, but there's so much to do around the house to get it looking decent.

I feel like I should get all that work done first then start. I am at least then I won't have a whole list of things to do plus work out, it will just be working out and up keeping the place. Maybe I will go outside for a short walk when the alarm goes off, and then start my at home workout when I get the living room situated to give me room.

That actually sounds smart. Go for a short walk outside today and clean the living room so that I can put down the yoga mat and work out in the living room tomorrow AM, and to make up for not going for it this AM I will workout for more then an hour tomorrow. Basically until I fall over. =D

Well this took me 6 mins to write, and now the alarm is sounding. I will go now and I will post more tomorrow. I should start making a better habit of blogging all the time too just to get me out there. I mean weather or not anyone reads it. I know what it says and sometimes it just helps to vent it out, even if the world isn't watching.

When will I?

Why is things incapable of turning out alright for me? No matter what I do, how much I hope and pray, things I believe should happen for me or I need to happen doesn't. I applied for a loan to get a car, and my Father decided to co-sign for me, and I didn't get approved although I was told that if I had a co-signer I would. So this was annoying to me because I got my hopes up, got all my friends praying and sending out positive energies so I'd be able to get this and it didn't happen. =( Very sad. I don't know what to believe anymore. Like if things I really need don't matter then what does anything matter in my life. I would love to magically get a check for 10,000$ in the mail but who's going to do that for me? UGH so annoying. When will I catch a break?

Decisions.

So I made the decision to forgo school for now and try to get some situations in order. I need a newer car, and to get finances in order and although a better education would help this it's not putting me in the calming mindframe that I was looking for.

I figure that if it was the right thing to do it would be causing WAY less stress then it is, and I have no motivation to make it happen. I want to focus on moving to a better place, cleaning and trying to get rid and sell things I don't need to try and provide some funds.

I am glad I have made the decision, I am at more peace then I've been in months, hence the delay in postings. I am excited to get things in order and get things going in an upward motion, then I will look at school. Just too much other stressors and adding one more isn't a great idea.

Anyways just a little update today. I will write more as more unfolds and as other things come to me that I just want to share. I plan to make postings regular and more then just random updates but also thoughts and poems or even philosophical things that I think of. I did major in philosophy at one point. =D

Peace, love and light!