In finding his letters and pictures I'm taken back to our memories and hurt, that he's no longer with me. A couple of people who talk about suicide have said the following:
Don Baker said, "Inevitably the living never blame the dead -- they blame the living -- thye blame themselves."
Bill Blackburn also says, "Suicide has a ripple effect. Sometimes these ripples because tidal waves that inundate the family and others close by."
This is how I currently feel. I'm missing him so badly. He gave me breath and life, and hope. I wanted to make him proud everyday, and as I'm sitting here right now crying, and going through a hard time I just wish he was here for me to reach out to and be able to cry on his shoulder.
What I wouldn't give to hold him, or hear his voice one last time. I was lucky enough to speak with him for hours the night before it happened which was also my birthday. I've recently found a song that describes my feeling so well, it was posted to YouTube in 2013 about a young man Tom Bridegroom who died in an accident.
Here is her video, please go like and share it. It's amazing. It makes me cry, but it 100% describes how I am feeling because he really did make my life worth living, and I truly ache. Please listen!
The WHOLE song is how I feel, but this part is what I feel I have to do at the moment!
You were the one who gave me life,
A reason to wake up and try
So why did you have to die
You the one who gave me wings,
A reason to wake up the day and sing
The song of your life.
Peace, love and light!
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