When will I?

Why is things incapable of turning out alright for me? No matter what I do, how much I hope and pray, things I believe should happen for me or I need to happen doesn't. I applied for a loan to get a car, and my Father decided to co-sign for me, and I didn't get approved although I was told that if I had a co-signer I would. So this was annoying to me because I got my hopes up, got all my friends praying and sending out positive energies so I'd be able to get this and it didn't happen. =( Very sad. I don't know what to believe anymore. Like if things I really need don't matter then what does anything matter in my life. I would love to magically get a check for 10,000$ in the mail but who's going to do that for me? UGH so annoying. When will I catch a break?

Decisions.

So I made the decision to forgo school for now and try to get some situations in order. I need a newer car, and to get finances in order and although a better education would help this it's not putting me in the calming mindframe that I was looking for.

I figure that if it was the right thing to do it would be causing WAY less stress then it is, and I have no motivation to make it happen. I want to focus on moving to a better place, cleaning and trying to get rid and sell things I don't need to try and provide some funds.

I am glad I have made the decision, I am at more peace then I've been in months, hence the delay in postings. I am excited to get things in order and get things going in an upward motion, then I will look at school. Just too much other stressors and adding one more isn't a great idea.

Anyways just a little update today. I will write more as more unfolds and as other things come to me that I just want to share. I plan to make postings regular and more then just random updates but also thoughts and poems or even philosophical things that I think of. I did major in philosophy at one point. =D

Peace, love and light!