Alone

Being alone is not always a bad thing. Being alone, truly alone allows you to see things in a different perspective, and take to really reflect a situation, and really see what's going on. You stop and just be. It's actually quite awesome. The only thoughts, remarks, actions, even judgments are simply your own. Being alone can be a choice, the want to be isolated from others or excluding others, and when you are you can realize unique things about yourself, and really know you. I've always believe knowing who you truly are and being okay with that is one of the best things in the world.

Loneliness is another thing, wanting companionship, a feeling that is causing a depressed feeling because your alone, can be hard to deal with. Just because it isn't the choice of wanting to be alone, you want to be with others, surrounded, and doing things, but at that moment you cannot. So when those feeling come, allow them in and acknowledge this is how you feel and then choose to better the day and want to be alone.

This is what I am trying to put into practice today, because I am affected by the feeling of loneliness, but like I said I don't mid being alone, so I've got to try to make it better.

Thanks for sharing part of my thoughts, and day.
Peace, love and light!

Sweet.

So still a little messed up from my allergic reaction from yesterday, was advised not to go to the gym because of the weirdness in feeling it could exaggerate my reaction and I might pass out. So I didn't go. I am going tonight though after  I go home, chill, sleep, and hopefully feel a lot better, and I plan on going later, tonight it's open 24 hours so maybe even after midnight.

Today in school has been pretty much a debate class, which is kinda fun. I like it. Now we're just working on assignments, but just before this I hear a duck sound in the hallway. Then we saw a baby duck go by, it was awesome. I went out to the hallway to see them, and they were so fantastic. It really made my day. I'm so glad there was no reason for it, someone just randomly decided to bring in some duckies!

So leaving you with cuteness!
Peace, love and light!

Feeling awful.

I had an allergic reaction last night. There was one piece of shrimp in my chicken fried rice and that did it. I had a nasty reaction to it all night (I'm actually deathly allergic to all fish and seafood), and this morning when I woke up I thought I would be better, but I just felt tired, then I got to school, and realized I'm still fighting off the reaction, and I didn't bring my epi-pen or benadryl. It's in the latter stages of the fight, but it's still kicking my ass.

I am hoping I will feel better tonight because it's gym night! So here's hoping. =) I wanted to say I'm glad for the fact I have so many page-views yesterday! That's so awesome. Thanks.

Peace, love and light!

Weight

Still at 330 LBS. Man this can be so frustrating. I did just start a new routine though, so maybe it needs time to work out a bit.

I gutta run, but I did say I'd send in a weigh in, so I wanted to keep to my word.

Thanks for viewing, comment, or subscribe.
Peace, love and light!

Sunny

This weekend was a pretty weekend. I did end up going to the beach but it was WAY too cold to actually go swimming, but I'm told going to a lake would be smarter, so maybe that will be my next weekends excursion. I love swimming.

How is your life? How are things going with you? Are you feeling happy or are you just surviving?

I like it when I feel good. Like this morning I woke up in just a good mood, but there's some days I just feel like getting out of bed, or breathing is a chore. Loosing weight is not as easy as some make it out to be. I feel defeated most days I look in the mirror. I weigh myself tonight so I'll let ya know about that tomorrow.

Just know that although this isn't the most intuitive or creative blog, it's just me trying to connect to you. So comment, subscribe, but please keep reading.

Have a great day and we'll chat tomorrow!
Peace, love and light.

Shoes.

Okay so this is one of those days where I feel like a huge girly girl. I was able to go get myself an early GRAD present from post secondary (I'm 32 years old). So I went to my plus sized store that now is selling shoes, and for the first time ever I was able to put on shoes and they fit, were sturdy and comfortable. One is like a dressy sandal, and the other is a wedge sandal. I am needing to practice walking in the wedge shoes, but they are SUPER cute and I was so excited I wanted to share that excitement with you.

So here they are, and I hope you like them.
Thanks again for reading and being apart of my life, feel free to comment!
Peace, love and light!

quick one

so i had to present a project today, and i did really well. today was/is beautiful out, and a couple things happened that upset me and i had to try to chill out, so i went for a walk into the woods, and i was going hard, found some water, splashed my face and arms, then when i got back out to the car to drive to go home, i noticed i was pretty cut up from the branches and such, so i came home and put iodine on my cuts, but even with the cuts i feel so much better, i love walking in the woods, now i need to sleep in the dirt next to a fire again.

oh and trying out a new workout to see if i can get some better results, last weigh in i was 330lbs still, so trying out something a little different!

thanks for sharing in my life,
peace love and light.

Hello all

Pretty rough weekend. I'll be super happy when I am done school and able to work. It's kinda a double edged sword. I am not fond of my school as an institution, but I am super happy for the education and the career opportunity after. I want to work to make money, and start getting my life on track. I am in my 30s and it would be nice to finally get  some headway. I want to travel, and I want to do things. Living month to month, and running out of everything from food to bathroom tissue is harder than I would like it to be. Accepting all donations...(hehe, I'm sure everyone feels this way from time to time). Know this is short, but just want to make the habit of signing on everyday, and checking this out more often!

Peace, love and light!

I have been seeing some people actually looking at my blog lately. That's awesome and creates a sense of necessity to make sure I get a post out there. I see some views were from Russia, which is kinda nice, I was actually thinking about trying to teach out there at one point, before I went to school, I was seriously looking at trying to go over to teach and work.

I am a little stressed at school, this subject is harder then most for me to grasp, and I have an exam tomorrow, so I am trying to get all the information I need.

I did want to mention that I have been going to the gym 3 times a week. I do cardio and resistance training. I've been staying at around 330 LBS, I am being told that my body composition is changing however because muscle is denser than fat, my weight is staying at this state. I am getting upset. I am big, and I am working hard and I would love to see results, and it's hurting me that I can't. To me even though my body composition (body fat to muscle ratio), that's awesome, but I don't look any different to me. I want to see some changes in the way I look.

However I will keep on keeping on and I will keep updating this so that others will be encouraged. I also hope that people will start finding this and realizing that I'm just a woman from a small palce, and this is an attempt to feel connected to something bigger. I don't have many connections, so I hope to find some.

Peace, love and light!